


As I Am

by ASchwartz33



Category: Naruto
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, Asexual Character, Asexual Yamato|Tenzou, Attempted Masturbation, Awkward Tension, Comfort, Gen, Kakashi is a good friend, Tenzou is confused, Yamato|Tenzou-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26143150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASchwartz33/pseuds/ASchwartz33
Summary: 5 times Tenzo felt out of place, and 1 time he didn't.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 14
Kudos: 89





	As I Am

1.

Tenzo sat silently in the back of the small classroom. All of the younger male root members were present, watching Boar's presentation on honeypot missions. 

Inappropriate images flashed across the screen, many of them involving men and women together. 

Tenzo fought the urge to look away, knowing that he would be punished if he didn't pay attention. Many of the boys in front of him were squirming during the instructional videos, shifting awkwardly in their seats as the lesson continued, along with Boar's monotone explanation on how to pleasure yourself and others. 

It was a strange concept to Tenzo. Especially when several boys (some even younger than him) raised their hands to answer questions about masterbation… as if it was some sort of common knowledge. 

After the meeting, several of the members present left to take showers, leaving Tenzo even more confused than he already was. It was still a bit early in the day to be needing a shower, but perhaps Tenzo should have just been happy his teammates were practicing proper hygiene. 

~

Tenzo couldn't quite get the presentation out of his head. The thought of touching himself with a purpose other than cleaning or relieving his bladder was even more strange than watching civilians hug each other constantly. 

Tenzo fidgeted in bed. Maybe…  _ maybe  _ he should practice. After all, it was an official lecture, and Tenzo had never failed anything before. 

Lowering the sheets to his legs, Tenzo made his decision. His sleepwear was shed easily, exposing his flesh to the chilly night air. 

Tenzo gripped his flaccid member, trying to remember exactly what the man in all of those pictures was doing. He gave himself a light squeeze, adjusting his grip and moving  _ just so _ . 

It was… uncomfortable. Tenzo knew he must have been doing something wrong. This was supposed to feel  _ good _ . 

And yet…

Tenzo continued to try, changing his position and grip several times before glaring down at his dick that hadn't changed at all. 

Tenzo went to bed angry and frustrated, wondering how he could have sat through an entire lecture without learning a  _ damn thing.  _

  
  


2.

Anbu was different than root in a lot of ways. The main thing that Tenzo noticed was the general camaraderie and conversations people had at random times. 

Tenzo himself hardly spent any time around people other than his team and captain. Kakashi had dipped out to go home as soon as they were done with training, while Tenzo hit the showers. 

The locker room was packed. Most teams that were in the village trained during the day, and that meant that a lot of people needed showers. 

Tenzo cleaned himself as quickly and methodically as he usually did, and made his way back to his locker. 

"Did you  _ see  _ her today? She is so sexy, I can't believe it!" 

Tenzo turned his head, watching a few of the older teenagers chatting in a group. 

"I know! The uniform is certainly flattering. I don't know of a single girl who wears it that I wouldn't take to bed." The man that Tenzo knew as "Hawk" replied. 

"It's not like there are many you  _ haven't  _ fucked!" Another man laughed, elbowing Hawk in the ribs. 

Tenzo frowned. He had never noticed any of the other Anbu being sexually active  _ at all _ , let alone with each other. 

Eagle, a boy nearly  _ two years  _ younger than Tenzo spoke up. "Speaking of  _ hot asses _ , did you  _ see  _ Tiger out there today?" He asked, whistling dramatically as he recalled something in his head. 

Tenzo knew Tiger well, and had even sparred with her a little today. He hadn't noticed anything…  _ hot  _ about her. 

"Yeah. How many girls have you slept with so far?" Hawk asked with a sly grin that made Tenzo feel uncomfortable. 

Eagle laughed. "Three now."

Eagle was 15 to Tenzo's 17… and he had already slept with three people? 

Tenzo gathered his things quickly, leaving the locker room as fast as he could manage without drawing attention to himself. 

3.

The bar was relatively crowded as Tenzo sat down with his beer in hand. It was one of the rare occasions that Tenzo actually went out with people he might consider  _ friends.  _

Kakashi sat next to him in the rounded booth, while Genma and Hayate sat on the other half. 

"So, I heard you and  _ Yugao  _ got a little something going on, huh?" Genma started with a snicker, nudging Hayate with his elbow. 

The older man groaned, running his hand through his hair before taking a drink. "Word spreads pretty fast." He commented, confirming Genma's suspicions. 

"Already done sowing your wild oats?" Genma asked incredulously. "You're only 24, man."

"Maa… it really isn't our business if he wants to settle down." Kakashi added, his beer half drank even though Tenzo hadn't even seen him move. 

Genma snorted.  _ "You're  _ only saying that because with  _ him _ off the market, your options just doubled." 

Kakashi waved him off casually. "I don't sleep around  _ that much _ , Gen."

Tenzo took a drink of his beer, trying not to draw attention to himself. 

It didn't work. Genma's beady eyes zeroed in on him, and he knew he was busted. "What about  _ you _ , Tenzo? Seeing anyone recently?" 

Tenzo could feel his face heating up in a rare blush, and kept his eyes focused on the label of his drink. "Uh… no. I've been pretty swamped with missions lately." 

"Didn't you just take three weeks off?" Hayate added unhelpfully. 

_ "I broke my arm. _ " Tenzo answered flatly. 

Genma scoffed. "A broken arm probably would have gotten you  _ plenty  _ of pity sex, ya know. Did you even  _ try _ ?" 

Tenzo didn't manage to stop the offended scowl from crossing his face.  _ Sex  _ by itself sounded absolutely repulsive… but using his  _ broken arm  _ as a ploy to get someone into bed? Despicable. 

"Tenzo is far too honorable to use  _ your  _ kind of tactics, Genma." Kakashi said with a laugh. 

The shock of  _ Kakashi  _ actually defending him nearly distracted him enough that he almost missed Hayate's next question. 

"So how long  _ has  _ it been, Tenzo?" The sickly jounin asked, barely finishing the sentence before covering his mouth to cough. 

Once Hayate was done with his coughing fit, all eyes were on Tenzo again. He couldn't help but sink down into his seat a little bit. How could he truly tell these guys that he was a  _ virgin _ . The fact that sex had never been on his list of priorities should remain his  _ own  _ business. 

"You uh… you aren't a  _ virgin _ , are ya Tenzo?" Genma asked, chuckling uncomfortably as he asked the question. 

Of course, Tenzo couldn't bring himself to answer, opening his mouth like a fish stuck out of water. 

_ "Really?"  _ Hayate asked incredulously. Genma gaped at him, but Kakashi remained thankfully silent. 

Tenzo decided that perhaps he'd had enough to drink for the night, and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

  
  


4.

Two months went by, and Tenzo was lulled into a false sense of security. None of his friends had mentioned the  _ virgin  _ thing, so he thought he was in the clear. 

He thought wrong. 

His punishment came in the form of Genma, the man walking up to him with a predatory grin across his face. 

"Tenzo! I've got a surprise for you!" He crowed, drawing the attention of the entire street. 

Tenzo immediately knew that he would regret turning around, his face flushed bright red. 

Genma was practically cackling when he got to Tenzo's side, ignoring his discomfort. "I got you a  _ date _ ." He spoke, sounding proud of himself for accomplishing something that Tenzo neither asked for nor wanted. 

"No thanks, Genma. I really don't have time for any of that." Tenzo replied, trying to speak quietly so that the entire village wouldn't hear. 

If Genma noticed the lowered volume, he didn't care. "Don't give me any of that, Tenzo. I already looked at the schedule. Kakashi is laid up for a week and you are on standby until he is done with bedrest." He rebuked easily. "Besides… she is already expecting you there. You wouldn't  _ stand her up _ , would you?" He added, grinning because he clearly  _ knew  _ Tenzo couldn't bring himself to do that to someone. 

Genma smirked, handing him a folded sheet of paper. "Don't be late!" He sang as he disappeared into the market district. Tenzo stared down at the crinkled piece of parchment in his hand, cursing his polite nature for getting him stuck in this mess. 

~

Tenzo reluctantly met with the civilian woman Genma set him up with. Truly, she was a nice woman. Tenzo would have loved to have her as a friend. But clearly, Torimi had other things on her mind. 

Tenzo could recognize the signs of her interest easily enough. His honeypot training in Root saw to  _ that _ . The casual touches, the excessive laughing at his terrible jokes, the easy way she complemented his physique. It all added up to her wanting something that Tenzo was very  _ not willing  _ to give. 

Torimi laughed the entire way home as Tenzo recounted a tale of his teammate (Kakashi, though he would never name him as the culprit  _ out loud _ ) getting stuck in the swamps on the outskirts of Kiri. 

She was a likeable woman, a teacher at the civilian school even. But as she continued to smile at him on the way to her apartment, continuously starting new conversations so that Tenzo couldn't make an excuse and leave, he began to grow uncomfortable. 

This woman wasn't bad looking. Probably even  _ beautiful _ , if Tenzo looked hard enough. He  _ knew  _ that he should  _ want  _ to kiss her. Any other guy probably would have. 

But… Tenzo was different. He knew that deep down in his heart, and had known for quite some time.  _ Something was wrong with him.  _

"Would you like to come inside?" Torimi asked, leaning back against her doorway and unknowingly looking  _ exactly  _ like one of the images from his honeypot class. "I could start us some tea… or we could find something  _ else  _ to keep us busy?"

Tenzo swallowed nervously. Usually, he would simply  _ duck out  _ in a situation like this. A  _ sexual  _ situation. However, Tenzo's inner politeness once again got the better of him and he stuck around to make an excuse. "Sorry. I appreciate the offer, but I should probably go." He answered sheepishly. 

A brief flash of disappointment crossed her face before she settled herself back into a sultry smile. 

For a civilian, she was fast. She was in Tenzo's space in the blink of an eye, looking up through her dark eyelashes at him. "Maybe just a goodnight kiss, then?" She asked, her head tilting the smallest bit. 

Tenzo's stomach dropped as the woman inched closer, her arms moving to wrap around him. He wanted  _ no  _ part in this, and his irrational  _ discomfort  _ with anything remotely sexual finally won out. 

Torimi's arms closed around the empty air, only some dust and a couple of leaves falling where Tenzo had previously stood. 

  
  
  


5.

Thankfully Genma hadn't tried to set him up on another date. Once Tenzo had bitterly explained that he hadn't wanted to kiss Torimi, he had simply walked away, muttering something about  _ "batting for the other team".  _

Tenzo didn't care. As long as Genma was giving up on his irrational hunt to get Tenzo laid, he would be fine. The stubborn jounin could think whatever he wanted about Tenzo's sexuality as long as he was left  _ alone _ . 

Unfortunately, being left alone didn't last long. With Kakashi's team 7 under his temporary command, things were iffy. 

Naruto tried to peek into the women's bathhouse far too many times for Tenzo's comfort. He never quite understood why others would even  _ want  _ to look. What was so special about a naked body? 

With Naruto successfully scared away from peeking, Tenzo was able to retreat back to his room. Unfortunately, the cleaning lady was present in the changing room. 

"Oh! I didn't realize anyone was using the bathhouse. My apologies." The woman spoke quickly. She was younger, and her bright green eyes lingered on Tenzo's uncovered upper half a little longer than he would like. 

"My name is Hariko. If you need anything, and I mean  _ anything _ , I'll be in room 24." The woman replied, still casually eyeballing Tenzo's body. 

A shiver flew down his spine, and the urge to  _ get out  _ was nearly overwhelming. Even long after the woman had left the room empty, Tenzo couldn't quite shake the awful feeling in his gut. He felt…  _ gross.  _ Like there was a thick layer of grime on his skin that he needed to wash off. Tenzo put his clothes back on as quickly as possible, crossing his arms over his chest and hurrying back to the safety of his room. 

Avoiding the cleaning lady for the duration of their stay at the onsen wasn't  _ easy _ , but Tenzo still managed. 

  
  


+1

Knocking on Kakashi's apartment door was one of the hardest things he had ever done. It was late, and team 7 had hardly been back from their mission for an hour. Still, Tenzo felt a serious need to inform his captain that they still hadn't managed to catch a lead on Sasuke. 

The door opened after a few anxiety filled moments. Kakashi looked worn out and miserable. Tenzo had heard that the stubborn jounin had been taking solo missions at every opportunity, trying to find solid information on the Akatsuki. 

Tenzo couldn't really blame him. He didn't imagine he looked much better himself. 

"Tenzo." Kakashi spoke softly. "Come on in." 

Tenzo followed the man that would always be his captain towards the couch. Instead of sitting like Kakashi immediately did, the Anbu paced in a circle and explained all of the happenings of the last mission. 

Kakashi listened carefully, moving his eye and watching him move about his apartment. 

"Tenzo." Kakashi drawled slowly once the report was over. "Sit down."

Tenzo reluctantly moved to the couch, sitting on the farthest end and trying to calm himself down. Perhaps he was a bit more stressed than he realized… or maybe it was the lack of sleep lately. 

Tenzo dropped his face into his hands, attempting to slow his raging heart. When he finally looked back up to his friend, Kakashi had his head tilted thoughtfully. 

The older man opened his arms in invitation. "Come over here. You are too stressed out." 

Tenzo froze. Kakashi had never expressed any interest in him as far as he could tell… but he knew that  _ touching  _ led to  _ sex.  _ Tenzo swallowed nervously. He knew that eventually his secret would come out, and maybe it was best that it was  _ Kakashi _ . 

The man still sat there with his arms open, watching Tenzo work things through in his mind. 

"I… don't want to have sex." Tenzo grumbled awkwardly, deciding to just get it out in the open. 

Kakashi looked unsure for a moment, his arms slowly lowering until he appeared to gather himself. Kakashi slid a little closer on the couch, raising his arms again. "I already knew that. Did you think that's why I invited you inside?" He asked quietly, moving close enough that he was able to touch Tenzo's shoulders with his hands. 

Tenzo felt his face heating up in embarrassment. Had he misread the situation so terribly? How could Kakashi have known such a thing? 

"I don't want to have sex with you, Tenzo. I promise. I just want to  _ comfort  _ you as your friend." Kakashi explained with a shrug. He moved closer again, close enough that his thigh just barely brushed against Tenzo's. 

Normally, that would cause Tenzo to panic. But Kakashi  _ never  _ lied to him. The older man had always been the most straightforward person that he knew. 

Kakashi's arms pulled lightly, and Tenzo went willingly, leaning into his captain's chest. 

"I know that you don't want those things… I think I've known for a while." Kakashi admitted in a near whisper, wrapping his arms around Tenzo's torso. Warmth spread through his bones as he received a type of comfort he had never known. 

"It's  _ normal,  _ you know… to not want those things. There is nothing wrong with you." 

Tenzo's body froze again, the words he never knew that he needed to hear echoing around in his ears. 

_ Normal.  _ Tenzo was  _ normal.  _

Tenzo's eyes glazed over as he allowed himself to fully relax in Kakashi's embrace. His  _ friend's  _ embrace _.  _

Kakashi used one hand to pet over Tenzo's hair reassuringly, rocking slowly as he went. With the pressure of one-sided sexual tension removed from the situation, Tenze felt more relaxed than he ever had while in the company of another. His muscles slowly relaxed until the Anbu was nothing but a pile of putty in Kakashi's careful hands. 

This was everything Tenzo had ever needed. This  _ acceptance.  _ The knowledge that he wasn't  _ broken _ , that he could still be cared for in the same ways as other people. He was  _ human.  _

Kakashi, warm and as silent as he always was, simply held Tenzo there, a safe presence that pulled Tenzo down into the deepest sleep he had ever experienced. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments always make my day! 💜


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